As soon as the mourner returns to the house the seven days of mourning, known as the shiva, begin.
The first thing to happen is the seudat havra'a (meal of consolation). This must be prepared by someone else for the mourners. It usually consists of a hard boiled egg and bread rolls. Lentils and chick peas are also traditional food for mourners. These foods are round like the world and they therefore indicate that death will eventually come round and affect us all. Another reason is that these foods have no break (mouth) in them thus symbolising the silence of the bereaved.
Candles: Someone should ensure that there is a sufficient supply of 24 hour candles to be lit in succession during the week or a week-long candle. Also, whilst shiva prayers are recited two ordinary candles should be lit. No blessing is recited when lighting these candles. It is forbidden to daven in front of a mirror or a picture/model/sculpture of a person, and so these should be removed or covered.
It is most important to sit shiva for the full period (normally a week) following a death. It is important spiritually, to allow the soul of the departed to ascend in the proper manner, and psychologically to allow the bereaved to adjust to new circumstances.
Another popular misunderstanding: Shiva is not prayers. The essence of shiva is to remain at home and receive those who come to offer comfort. It is because the mourner is not allowed to leave the house, and thereby attend shull, that the prayers are brought into the house. Even people who decide not to have prayers every night would be doing the right thing to remain at home for the full week.
During the week of shiva there are a number of specific activities which the mourner should avoid. These include bathing, shaving, or trimming the hair, wearing leather shoes, working, sexual intercourse, laundering or ironing garments. Only washing for hygienic purposes should be done, and only undergarments, or those touching the skin should be changed.
The shiva lasts for seven days. This means that normally, prayers are held for four nights. For example, if a funeral took place on a Wednesday, prayers would be on the Wednesday and Thursday nights, then on the Sunday and Monday nights. The shiva would end on Tuesday (the seventh day) at about the time people would be expected to arrive on the previous days, probably around 10:30 - 11:30 in the morning. If you have any questions about sitting shiva please discuss this with the clergy.